A Cracked Mirror

Another Monday afternoon, another existential crisis. I still haven’t resolved the “What the heck am I going to do with my life now?” question*, and others keep popping up. I’m struggling with my weight right now, too. I’m eating better since we started cooking more at home, but my weight isn’t budging. I’m trying to […]

When I Grow Up

When I was a kid, my family made fun of me for constantly changing my answer to the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I wanted to own a pizza parlor, to study deep sea life as a marine biologist, to shoot photos for National Geographic, to write books, to […]

Back to the Beginning

It’s been over a month since I posted in here! Well. The depressive episode finally lifted definitively, though I am still dipping into it now and again. I’m still tilting masculine in presentation. I gave up on Japanese, mostly because I didn’t have realistic ways to practice and Wani Kani wasn’t working for me in […]

Label Conscious: Thinking About a New Diagnosis

My depression has lifted! The good: I’m not depressed! The bad: I’m not sleeping consistently and dreading a manic spike. The ugly: I’m exhausted from the episode. Speaking of my craziness, I had my first appointment with my new provider, but it wasn’t an intake! That’s still next Friday, but I did meet with her […]

Island Boi or, Depression Makes Me Feel Othered

I went to the library today and felt so utterly separate from everybody there that it was almost comical. I’ve been slogging through a depressive episode for about two months now, and it has me stranded on an island, watching the world through smudgy binoculars. I haven’t had the tools, will or strength to fight […]

The Sleeping Beauty

This weekend I was so exhausted from the stress of The Thing on My Head and socializing at class, and from my severe back pain from sitting in class and driving all over the city last week that I spent most of my time fast asleep. I must have taken 800 naps. It definitely helped, […]

The Thing on My Head

Everything was running smoothly until I shaved my head! My husband shaved my head for me (a regular occurrence) on Wednesday night and discovered a weird bald spot. It’s like a scar, feels kind of like scar tissue and no hair grows on it. HOWEVER. I haven’t had any head injuries recently, and it wasn’t […]